Cat & Canine, Part 1

A couple of side comments before I dive into a MUCH needed updated post (I mean, I'm pushing a month lull here folks, which I would say is totally uncalled for). I'm a big fan of the new templates that Blogger is now offering...the only thing is that I guess I have to switch comment tools so unfortunately all my old ones are lost. Just so you know, old commenting visitors, your words were taken to heart and won't be forgotten. I hope to see many more of your witty quips on my new link.

So now that you know a little about me and where I'm coming from (do some back-reading if you don't, people), it's time to explore just what holds the corporate Bond together. Who are the friends and family that make the days worthwhile and the evenings late and memorable? If you really think about it, the people you interact with day in and day out are the ones who shape you and even sometimes have the power to change your mood, actions, and general outlook. Every new group and even some specific individuals I've encountered has seemed to bring out a side of me that I hadn't really found yet. I'll try to do justice to all of them and our experiences over the course of my next few blogs. After all, practically any one of my daily tales involves one of these people.

But, let's give the humans a rest for a change...it's high time you met my arch-nemesis. This is going to offend some people, so brace yourselves: I hate cats. No, no, I don't hate them. I loathe their very existence. The only reason that I can contain myself from just going nuts when I'm around them is giving some credit to the household feline for being part of the same family as a lion. I mean, seriously, that guy is awesome. I'll respect anyone who has a huge mane around their face and is well-known as the King of the jungle...but anyways.

My friends Nick and Rebecca Snider, both to be introduced later, somehow acquired a cat named Zoe, which translated in French means "child of Lucifer". My only real quarrel with cats before Zoe was that they cling to your clothes like a bag of fish hooks when you try to get them off of you. But Zoe reinforced my cat hatred as she quickly took over Nick and Rebecca's apartment. Every spot in the place was hers. "Don't sit on the couch, Zoe sleeps there." "Don't use that ball, that's Zoe's toy." Of course I would put the crowning defeat at Zoe acquiring the guest bathroom. Honestly, that one wasn't that difficult as you can imagine that trying to find that relaxing peace on the porcelain throne is slightly interrupted by a repugnant smell emitted by a litter box that's parked next to the toilet. She continued to strut around the apartment with that typical cat demeanor. Slow and easy walking, shoulders rolling just behind the neck, tail shot proudly into the air waving slightly at the tip, with slight graceful jumps into your lap whenever they so choose. It became ridiculous when Zoe started smelling my hatred. She was only more encouraged to annoy me. I'll be the first to say that a cat is a self-absorbed animal, but they sure know how to scheme. Bored with the rest of the world and showing it, I became her new toy. There could be 8 different people in the room and she would strut right over and lunge into my lap. She'd settle in for a comfortable nap, but only after staring me straight in the face with those vertical-slant pupils. "You're mine now." Don't try to stare down a cat...the rest of the room will think you're crazy and it only fuels the feline's fire. Obviously, I would push her off, doing my best to detach her already-set claw anchors, but my best efforts were to no avail. She was bound and determined to break me. It wasn't affection she wanted. Cats are notoriously independent and couldn't give a rat's tail if you give them your love or not. I was just another piece of furniture or territory in the house to be claimed. Just Zoe's personal prize.

My only hope would lie in the fact that God saw how stuck up the cat was after he created it. In his eternal wisdom of maintaining balance on the planet, God pulled a little reversal on his own name and made the Dog. A gift from the Almighty was soon to arrive to Nick and Rebecca in the form of a boxer mutt named Brooklyn.

To be continued...